What's made you grumpy today?

[David L]

Wife's sister was rushed to hospital at 9:30 last night feeling ill. Two hours later, she's passed away. No inkling whatever that she was ill. We don't know the cause of death. As far as I know she had no inkling whatever 24 hours ago that she was spending her last day alive. Only 61. A son in his 30s and two teenage daughters.

I'm not upset or anything, I wasn't close to her although I liked her, no grief although of course I'm sad and shocked about it. Can't quite believe it actually. But the universe has no sentimentality or pity whatever.

Dreadful. Condolences to your sister and family.

[Nickslikk2112]

Wife's sister was rushed to hospital at 9:30 last night feeling ill. Two hours later, she's passed away. No inkling whatever that she was ill. We don't know the cause of death. As far as I know she had no inkling whatever 24 hours ago that she was spending her last day alive. Only 61. A son in his 30s and two teenage daughters.

I'm not upset or anything, I wasn't close to her although I liked her, no grief although of course I'm sad and shocked about it. Can't quite believe it actually. But the universe has no sentimentality or pity whatever.

Sorry to hear that James.

[Thenop]

Sorry to read this James.

[dom]

That's very sad James, strength to you, your wife and family

[pxr5]

Sorry to hear this very sad news James.

[captainkurtz]

That's so sad, sorry to hear.  Best wishes to your Wife.

[Nick]

Sorry to hear that Slim.

[Matt2112]

My condolences to you and the family James.

[The Picnic Wasp]

It's clear from my time on here that you're all pretty intelligent guys. Smarter than me anyway and I've always considered myself reasonably educated, but I've become too close to a situation to think rationally about it and I would dearly respect your opinion on the matter if you would be so kind.

I've lived in the same house for decades. The other party concerned in this is not my next door neighbour but those from the next building across the driveways and our homes lie gable to gable. Things were ok for a few years, not my kind of people, younger, show-offs, but I would buy Christmas presents for their two children, that sort of thing.

The wife began to run businesses from home. Childminding came first, cars, folk coming and going, parking across my drive regularly but not the end of the world so I just ignored it. When that fell through dog minding, walking and minor boarding started. Again no biggie really, but sometimes her boarders or her own dogs would get free and wander about my garden, often leaving souvenirs. I have dogs so I just picked the mess up and carried on. I did object once after another picking up occasion but it fell on deaf ears and some smart comments.

A while before lockdown she announced to me matter of factly that she was planning some building work to their garage and rear garden. This didn't require planning permission, just a warrant so I needn't worry and "it wasn't going to be an Air BnB". Before all this you could step over a low metal fence from my back garden to theirs but between lockdowns an earth retaining wall running between 1.0 -1.5m was built and back filled. A 2.0m fence was then fixed to this wall and a 3.0m barricade now stands between me and them, with spikes along the top to deter wild birds.  No planning was given for this wall and it's an ugly, shambolic looking concrete block affair. A landscaper working for me recently described it as a monstrosity which should never have been allowed. Still, at least it blocks them out from me, so every cloud.

Their builder was a decent guy and asked me early on if he could park vans across the driveway to my house. I was shielding due to IV treatment which affected my immunity, wasn't driving due to a compulsory licence revoke period so let him crack on. He was parked there for 18 months!

Whenever noisy or messy work took place the neighbours would disappear for a few days. Their concrete driveway was slowly drilled apart over a period of about a week when I thought I would lose my mind. Next was the garage roof. It was a corrugated cement/asbestos affair. When dismantling this material the sheets should be carefully unscrewed and double wrapped to take to a licensed dump for safe disposal. They employed a rubbish removal firm on the cheap. The guy sat on the garage roof with a sledgehammer and smashed the roof to bits. It went everywhere of course including my driveway and between the two garages. On their return I pointed this out to my neighbours. They offered to get the guys back to tidy things up but I declined the offer having discovered who owned the company in question. If I detailed his criminal past here you probably wouldn't believe me and I'm also slightly nervous about putting such things to print.

After the demolition work the building began. The wall on my boundary quickly reached 3.0m, above the permitted height which from memory is around 2.1 metres. I caught the builder as he was leaving and spoke to him briefly about the height. His jaw fell and I knew he was already aware it was outwith building warrant territory. He stopped work and they applied for planning permission. Council officers were working from home and trying to keep builders afloat so it was quickly rubber stamped. Onwards, nothing else could be done so draw a line under the mess.

After lockdown their new garden room and additional timber summerhouse became party central. They were poor observers of lockdown regulations in any case. I genuinely feel sorry for Boris after the shenanigans of thiose non-workers next door. One summer's evening around midnight, I let my dog out for his last wee. It was a lovely evening and there was a few late revellers in the garden next door. They weren't  aware of my presence but out of the darkness I heard my name being shouted along with a few choice descriptions of my character. I waited a few moments to make sure I wasn't mistaken. I wasn't and my fuse had burned down to a point of no return. When challenged through the fence they demanded I join them in the front garden where they proceeded to verbally abuse me at high drunken volume. My sister who was visiting came out to find out what the commotion was and she received the same treatment. My misdemeanour was mainly that I leave food out for the local foxes. Crime of the century.

After a few months I decided to have the front drive and wall refurbished and rebuilt as one of the taunts that evening was my place was a sh1thole inside and out. They've never set foot in my house. It's actually rather nice although I could do with a new kitchen. As the work progressed I spoke to the builder and asked him to build a low wall and fence across from my kitchen window to keep my neighbours' rubbish from constantly blowing in. Their bins are kept on the boundary so that they look in my window every time they dump some rubbish. No-one else around here does that with bins usually more discreetly placed. So, another £1600 onto the overall cost of the work but worth it I believed. Not so. A couple of months ago their grey wheelie blew over the new wall in a high wind. It hit my sister's new car but thankfully no damage occurred.

Sorry for the length of this cathartic dirge but just before Christmas the following happened. I noticed during the day that their bins were full to bursting with black bags crammed in to the point the lids wouldn't  close. Around 8pm my sister went to the car to fetch something. She was gone quite a while so I went out to check things were ok. She was picking rubbish up from all over the front garden. I started to ge out to help but she demanded I go back inside. She had picked up a bag of used feminine hygiene products. I was absolutely livid and wouldn't allow her to put it back in their bin. A couple of days later I couldn't help myself confront her next door. She tried to drive away without speaking to me but clearly aware of the contents of the bag she grabbed it from me and proceeded to make a series of foul-mouthed statements about my sister.

I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do and I really don't want to move, but maybe I should for the sake of my health.

For anyone who stuck this out to the end, thank you, I really do appreciate it.

[The Picnic Wasp]

Sorry about the font size and number of mistakes. I seem to have screwed up the copy / paste.

[Thenop]

I stuck it out, no worries. Venting helps, I know. And I am truly sorry for your situation, it reads like a sign of the times. One bully want to invade a friendly country, another pisses all over their neighbours yard.

Waiting to see if things get better, well that's what we all do. I recognize it a little, I have moved in the past because of an elderly couple that acted as the town bullies - he even faced charges for spitting a woman in the face - and it was the best decision I ever made.
But these are life altering decisions and never easy.

[The Picnic Wasp]

I stuck it out, no worries. Venting helps, I know. And I am truly sorry for your situation, it reads like a sign of the times. One bully want to invade a friendly country, another pisses all over their neighbours yard.

Waiting to see if things get better, well that's what we all do. I recognize it a little, I have moved in the past because of an elderly couple that acted as the town bullies - he even faced charges for spitting a woman in the face - and it was the best decision I ever made.
But these are life altering decisions and never easy.

Thank you, Nop. Those are kind words. Crazy isn't it? I could probably move to a nicer house, maybe even the coast and buy a little boat and fish most days, but I have this underlying stupidity of thinking I would have lost. Daft male pride that isn't doing me any good.

[Nickslikk2112]

I stuck it out, no worries. Venting helps, I know. And I am truly sorry for your situation, it reads like a sign of the times. One bully want to invade a friendly country, another pisses all over their neighbours yard.

Waiting to see if things get better, well that's what we all do. I recognize it a little, I have moved in the past because of an elderly couple that acted as the town bullies - he even faced charges for spitting a woman in the face - and it was the best decision I ever made.
But these are life altering decisions and never easy.

Thank you, Nop. Those are kind words. Crazy isn't it? I could probably move to a nicer house, maybe even the coast and buy a little boat and fish most days, but I have this underlying stupidity of thinking I would have lost. Daft male pride that isn't doing me any good.

Stick it out kid, one day they'll move. That or find someone in the Mafia...

[The Picnic Wasp]

I stuck it out, no worries. Venting helps, I know. And I am truly sorry for your situation, it reads like a sign of the times. One bully want to invade a friendly country, another pisses all over their neighbours yard.

Waiting to see if things get better, well that's what we all do. I recognize it a little, I have moved in the past because of an elderly couple that acted as the town bullies - he even faced charges for spitting a woman in the face - and it was the best decision I ever made.
But these are life altering decisions and never easy.

Thank you, Nop. Those are kind words. Crazy isn't it? I could probably move to a nicer house, maybe even the coast and buy a little boat and fish most days, but I have this underlying stupidity of thinking I would have lost. Daft male pride that isn't doing me any good.

Stick it out kid, one day they'll move. That or find someone in the Mafia...

I wish there was a love it button. Thank you.

[pxr5]

Agreed, stick it out mate. I've always found in life that things tend to work out - call it fate if you want and I'm sure one day you'll wake up and it will all be well. Working in the RAF I often came across complete knobs, but I learnt early on that one day either they'd be posted - or I would.

I understand what you're going through and it would be drive me mad too, but please try not to let it get to you too much as then they've won. Be positive and know that you are a way better person than they are.