Batman (the TV series)

[Slim]

02:30 The Bat's Kow Tow

Batman remembers that glass can be shattered by sympathetic vibration. He implores Robin to hum an F# above high C along with him. Actually Batman hums a C#, ie a semitone above middle C (I checked). Robin hums an E, a major third above high C. Nonetheless, the glass side of the acoustic torture chamber shatters and they're out. Obviously Catwoman and her gang have already left. The villains never seem to hang around to see their diabolical lethal schemes to the expected conclusion.

Catwoman's plan, as the Caped Crusader learns from one of her associates who's stayed behind to sweep the floor, is to steal Chad and Jeremy's voices at their show at Gotham's Town Hall that evening. And she does! Clearly security is a bit lapse at the Town Hall, but she turns up with her gang and points her voice eraser device at them from stage left. Batman and Robin arrive there but it's too late. She and her cohorts get away.

The cat-like criminal intends to extort £8 million for the return of their voices. Who will pay this monstrous sum of money? England will. Because, as she goes on to say, England swings like a pendulum do. She argues that without Chad and Jeremy's income tax payments, the British Empire would crumble and the Pound would be deflated. Batman realises that once this happens, the entire economic structure of the world would collapse.

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She also mentions that £8m comes to more than $22m, and I checked - in 1966, she's not wrong.

So the Dynamic Duo pay a visit to the British Consul General, a delightfully stereotypical English old codger with a handlebar moustache. He passes on the news (from "Harold", presumably Wilson) that Blighty won't be paying a penny to Catwoman.

Batman collects a tape of Catwoman's phone call to Commissioner Gordon from O'Hara. He runs it through the Batcave's Bat Sound Analyzer (sic) and learns that three hair dryers can be heard faintly in the background. Well that's not much help. Gotham City has over 2,000 beauty salons. Shortly afterwards, Robin - in his persona as Dick - checks on Chad and Jeremy. Still unable to speak, they pass on a message on a piece of notepaper. They'd like to get their hair done - at Mr Oceanbring's, Gotham's world-famous hair stylist. Are there hair dryers there? Dick wants to know. Why yes! Three! The Boy Wonder therefore concludes that Catwoman is hiding out there. The logic is not compelling, is it? And yet - of course - he's right.

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They go there, there's a punch-up, the two crime-fighters emerge victorious of course, but the Fiendish Feline legs it. The Caped Crusader runs after her - she ambushes him round a corner and has him at gunpoint with her sonic beam weapon.

And yet - she can't do it. She has feelings for him. She gives up and comes quietly. She explains how to restore the stolen voices, and there's a touching little romantic scene between them before Robin turns up and spoils the fun. In any case, it's Game Over.

Chad and Jeremy appear at the Town Hall again, and Commissioner Gordon, Dick, Bruce, Alfred and Harriet attend. Harriet opines that they are "very hep". "It's 'hip' Aunt Harriet, they changed it", Dick tells her. The Commissioner considers them to be "a bit on the groovy side".

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Julie Newmar is brilliant in this role. The clever comic touches, the mannerisms, the magnetic sex appeal that goes to 11. The sheer charm. I think she may be the most exquisite woman ever to have lived. I must watch the 1966 movie again to see how Lee Meriwether does with the part.

There's a Bat rope window cameo from Don Ho. I wasn't aware of him, he was a Hawaiian pop star.

Chad and Jeremy were a real thing and had a few hits in the '60s, though in the real world outside the Batman universe, they weren't Britain's most popular export.

[Slim]

02:31 The Puzzles Are Coming

Another brand new villain for the second series, this time The Puzzler. There is a Puzzler in the DC Comics universe, but not in Batman comics - so it's safe to say that this particular criminal has nothing to do with that one. He's a rather effete, mildly Quentin-Crisp-ish old theatrical luvvie with a habit of quoting Shakespeare all the time. He's English, of course.

The old poofter has teamed up with a massively wealthy entrepreneur called Artemis Knab for a new venture - puzzle balloons. But Knab also dabbles in the aerospace industry, and he's launching a brand new jet aircraft called The Retsoor. The Puzzler intends to steal it.

It seems that The character was invented by the TV show folks to use (most of) a script intended for a Riddler story. Frank Gorshin was in a salary dispute with them. Like The Riddler, The Puzzler always sends a clue first in the form of a puzzle (or riddle).

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So the pernicious ponce turns up at the launch party at Gotham Airport, for the Retsoor. Impressively, an actual jet aircraft is used on the set, so I think this was filmed at an actual airport. It's a Lear Jet. But he renders the guests immobile and stupefied by popping the balloons he's given to the guests, which contain an invisible stupefying gas. He steals their jewellery and takes some photos of the aircraft's controls.

Batman and Robin turn up there, only to be stupefied themselves. The English Evildoer and his hoodlums make off with their loot (and the photos). But using the usual comically improbable logic applied to a clue provided to them, the Dynamic Duo soon catch up with them at the Old Globe balloon factory. There's a punch-up naturally, but the felonious fop overcomes the crime-fighters by throwing model aircraft with drug-tipped pointy spikes. The Shakespeare-obsessed shyster has the two tied up and placed in a hot air balloon. He performs The Unkindest Cut of All on the tether rope, to release it from the ground. Once it reaches 20,000 feet the basket will detach automatically, sending them to their deaths!

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As usual there are some very funny throwaway lines. Robin refers to Artemis Knab as a "reasonably successful multi-billionaire".

I'm sorry to report that - not to be unkind - this one has a rather low standard of eye candy. And I'm not too impressed with The Puzzler. As with The Minstrel, his gimmicks - a love of Shakespeare, a tendency to provide puzzle clues and an unhealthy interest in aviation - are a bit of a mismatch. But we'll see how the second part unfolds.

The Puzzler is played by Maurice Evans, who was quite well known in the US for appearing on TV productions of Shakespeare plays. He gained US citizenship in 1941 and joined the US Army during the war. But he returned to the UK at the end of the '60s. His Wikipedia entry notes that he never married. I think he probably played for the other side.

[Slim]

02:32 The Duo Is Slumming

In the nick of time, Robin manages to seal the air hole of the hot air balloon's altimeter with a piece of discarded chewing gum (they work on air pressure, y'know). But having prevented the basket being released at 20,000 feet, they have a new problem - they're still floating helplessly up toward the stratosphere.

We saw Robin, or Dick practicising his bird calls at the beginning of the previous episode, and now we see why. Batman remembers that a species of unusually agressive, high-flying bird is migrating south at the moment. He urges Robin to try to attract one. Robin expertly performs a bird call, one of the birds (a "high-flying new thatch bird") turns up and, infuriated by Robin's intervention, pecks a hole in the balloon. The two float safely to earth. They land in a remote site in the wilds upstate of Gotham, but conveniently there's a phone booth about six feet away.

Meanwhile the villainess sidekick is visiting Artemis Knab (the "bulti-millionaire" as she calls him, I suspect a slip of the tongue rather than scripted). She drugs his cup of tea, rendering him unconscious. The Puzzler enters, cracks open his safe (while copiously quoting Shakespeare naturally) and photographs the blueprints of the new jet.

The blueprints consist of about seven pieces of paper. I read somewhere years ago that when the blueprints for the Merlin engine were provided to Packard by Rolls-Royce so that it could be built under licence in the US, they had to be loaded onto the back of a truck.

Anyway the pernicious poof leaves a deliberate clue in an envelope for the Caped Crusader in the form of the single word "PUZZLES". Based on this being seven characters long and bearing in mind an old Shakespeare line, Batman reasons that it's something to do with a phone number, with odd numbers in it. He gets it right first go. During their brief telephone conversation, the larcenous luvvie offers him another puzzle clue.

He's also provided Commissioner Gordon with an odd clue in the form of a rooster delivered in a large box. It's an odd name for an aircraft, "Retsoor," but it is "rooster" spelled backwards. A bit contrived and rubbish really.

But the Dynamic Duo reach the necessary conclusion and they're off to the airport just in time to stop the fiendish fop and his gang of wrongdoers flying off in the new aircraft, following a punch up of course. Robin gets stuffed into one of the jet intakes at one point but fortunately they hadn't powered it up yet.

It's not a great one, but I don't believe we see The Puzzler again.

[Slim]

02:33 The Sandman Cometh

Catwoman is out of prison again somehow. It's no wonder she's a repeat offender when you consider how leniently the Batman universe judicial system deals with attempted murder. She's teamed up with a European master criminal called Sandman - played by Michael Rennie, who was the visiting alien in one of my favourite ever films, The Day the Earth Stood Still fifteen years earlier.

Between them, they intend to rob the millionairess J Pauline Spaghetti. The world's only billionaire in 1966 was called J Paul Getty. I quite like what they did there.

Of course they intend to double-cross each other.

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By means of an elaborate stunt involving Catwoman posing as a sleeping person in the window of a department store that sells beds, then being interviewed on TV following a fake abduction - it does sort of make sense when you watch it - the two master criminals manage to bring J Pauline's attention to the services of Doctor Somnambula, Sandman's alter ego. She's had trouble sleeping for years. He goes to her penthouse suite at her hotel, administers a sort of hypno-drug, then photographs her financial records. This is a really funny scene. The old bird, under the influence of the drug, locates her files for him, shovelling through piles of banknotes and valuable jewellery in her dressing table.

In the meantime, the Dynamic Duo consider the situation, and enlist the help of the Bat Computer. It literally oozes strings of pink spaghetti. From this, the two realise that J Pauline is the target of the two master criminals' attentions. So they turn up at the millionairess' penthouse - but find no evidence of wrongdoing. All her valuables and cash are still in place.

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Nonetheless, acting on some clue that isn't particlarly well-explained, the crime-fighters visit the Morpheus Mattress Factory. They find Sandman and his gang there. Of course there's a punch-up, with pillow stuffing and feathers flying everywhere. But the two are overcome. Robin gets a dose of the hypno-drug. Batman gets restrained in a giant stitching machine!

Early on, Catwoman discovers that one of her feline assistants is an undercover policewoman. Hopefully we'll find out if the brave officer of the law escapes the vengeance of the feline fiend in the next one.

Not sure why the writers of this one are so keen to stress Sandman's credentials as European, but he's referred to variously as "Europe's crack criminal" and a "continental criminal". Michael Rennie was actually from Bradford, although he cultivated a refined mid-atlantic vocal manner for career purposes. I always thought he was a well-spoken American, to be honest. Certainly there's not a trace of West Yorkshire in his voice.

Any Batman episode with Catwoman in it has got to be a good one, though she seems to be the lesser criminal partner here. Hopefully we'll see more of her in the second part. But irrespective of that this story does seem to have a bit of a decent plot, which is not that usual. Interesting to see a double-villain episode for the first time (not counting Chandell & Harry who were both played by Liberace).

[Slim]

2:34 The Catwoman Goeth

In the Batmobile, Sandman delivers Robin in his drugged state to Catwoman. She forces him into a dimly lit electrified maze, from which he may never escape! She's already thrown the undercover policewoman in there. But in the meantime, the giant stitching machine punches through one of Batman's restraints, allowing him to free himself.

Fortunately, Batman is able to locate the Batmobile by means of the Batmobile Tracker Map in the Batcave. Alfred gives him a lift to the run down factory - helpfully labelled RUN DOWN FACTORY - where Sandman has abandoned it.

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Meanwhile - Commissioner Gordon learns that Sandman, having easily overcome J Pauline's police protection, has eloped with the pasta billionairess - to J Pauline Spaghetti Island. He's got his hands on her entire fortune! And (as expected) he's double crossed Catwoman by passing on her Cat Lair address to the Caped Crusader.

Batman pays her a visit. The catty criminal agrees to co-operate, but as Batman goes to free Robin (and the undercover cop lady), she attempts to do a runner. But the Gotham City Police arrive to take her into custody.

So the Dynamic Duo race off to the island in the Bat Boat (same footage we saw last time, possibly reused from the feature film). They find Sandman and his gang there with J Pauline. Of course there's a punch up. And it's Game Over for the sleep-oriented scoundrel and his henchmen.

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One disappointing thing about this one - usually the Batman folks do a sterling job with the stunt doubles, but the guy they got to take the punches and falls for Michael Rennie looks nothing like him.

Oh yes, and there's an amusing scene in which a cocky rookie cop is talked out of giving Batman tickets for three traffic violations by his partner. The rookie is none other than James Brolin! I noticed his name in the credits and I think he was in a previous Catwoman episode as well, in a bit part as a driver.

Decent two-parter, on the whole.

[Slim]

2:35 The Contaminated Cowl

When seven hundred hat boxes are stolen from a box boutique in Gotham City, it can only be the work of The Mad Hatter, recently escaped from Gotham Penitentiary. he's finally putting away his collection of stolen hats.

But he must have one more prize for his collection - Batman's cowl. Also, Gotham's Grande Dame of local society Hatty Hatfield is holding her annual head-dress ball, and she'll be wearing the famous Hatfield ruby in her ridiculous headwear. The headwear-fixated hoodlum goes there disguised as the Three-tailed Pasha of Panchagorum, to steal it. The Dynamic Duo anticipate his move of course, so they go there as well (up the side of the building of course, although it's more than 60 floors up, with glass walls).

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They confront the cranial accessory crook and his gang, but despite a spirited punch up, he gets away with the ruby - but not before spraying Batman's cowl with a radioactive substance that turns it pink!

All Batman's spare cowls are in the bat-dry-cleaning plant. So the Dynamic Duo rush to Gotham's Atomic Energy Laboratory, to enlist the help of Professor Overbach in having it decontaminated.

But The Mad Hatter and his gang have followed him there. Batman removes his cowl behind a screen and following a scuffle, Hatter - disguised as the professor's assistant, Otto - steals it. When the two crime-fighters confront the wrongdoers in the lab moments later, they get overcome very quickly. Not even a punch up! And they are thrown into a fluoroscopic cabinet, about to be bombarded with deadly radiation.

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I wasn't particularly looking forward to another Mad Hatter two-parter as I didn't like the first one that much, but this one had an unexpectedly strong first part. The character seemed a bit more interesting this time. Seems to have a bit more pompous swagger and cunning.

Very high standard of villainess eye candy in this one.

[Slim]

2:36 The Mad Hatter Runs Afoul

As the episode opens, we see the skeletonised remains of the Dynamic Duo, apparently having met their end in the high voltage x-ray fluoroscopic cabinet. As the tragic news spreads, world leaders are informed. Crowds gather everywhere. O'Hara and Gordon sob uncontrollably (hilarious scene, that one). Businesses shut down.

I'm at a bit of a loss to understand why the news would meet with such a profound global response given that they only ever solve crimes in Gotham City. But anyway - of course it's a ruse. The Caped Crusader used the Bat X-Ray deflector from his utility belt to defeat The Mad Hatter's lethal scheme, and substituted model skeletons.

Sorry to say that the plot, such as it is, does unravel a bit in the second part. There's no particular reason for the Dynamic Duo to fake their own deaths, or at least it wasn't obvious to me. The ruby stolen from Hatty Hatfield turns out to be a replica, The Mad Hatter supposedly knowing this all along. He intends to switch it for a real ruby from a buddha statue at an exhibition. And there's a plot element about a tracking device in the contaminated cowl being hidden in a water tower which seems to be there only as an excuse for an interesting location for a punch up. it makes little sense.

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It is a pretty good punch up though, filmed up a real water tower. Excellent work from Robin's stunt double hanging off the railings high up (I assume there was a large safety net).

On the whole a pleasing two-parter - nice to see that David Wayne, the actor portraying the villain of the piece, had fleshed out the character a bit. In particular in this second story, the Hatter has a delightfuly contorted, excessively patrician English accent. The eye candy is quite special in this one as well.

Wayne was American, born in Michigan where he grew up. But he joined the British Army at the beginning of WW2. He joined the US Army a couple of years later.

This is the first two parter to be shown in 1967. I'm 70 episodes in now.

[Slim]

2:37 The Zodiac Crimes

The Joker is back. And this time, he's teamed up with The Penguin! The Master of Maudlin Mockery has enlisted the help of the Feathered Fink to perform a crime wave in Gotham City, based on signs of the Zodiac. Naturally he lets Commissioner Gordon know what he's up to, first.

The Dynamic Duo's investigations first lead them to visit Gotham's new singing sensations The Twins - there they find, then pursue The Penguin - but it's a ruse to divert their attention while The Joker robs a jewellery store of two huge diamonds, also called The Twins (Gemini, y'see).

The two crime-fighters derive the location of The Joker's hideout using the usual Batcave tech. They go there, but only the cutie villainess is present. But they persuade her to see the error of her ways, and help them.

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She tells them that the giggling ghoul's next crime is due to take place at an operatic performance. The Penguin is to meet him there. There's a punch up on the stage while the opera singer, Leo Crustash (representing Leo and Cancer - the crab) continues obliviously until he's kidnapped by The Joker and his gang. But Batman and Robin are at least able to apprehend The Penguin.

One of Gotham City's most valuable art treasures, a statue called The Virgin Bereaved (Virgo of course) is assumed to be The Joker's next target. So the two noble guardians of the law plan to wait for him at the museum. Unfortunately, some of the statues there are really Joker's gang in disguise and make up. The arch criminals of Gotham City go to a great deal of trouble in pursuance of their criminal lifestyles, sometimes.

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After a protracted punch up, the Dynamic Duo are overcome by some sort of debilitating substance. They get strapped underneath an exhibit of an 8 ton meteorite beneath a solar system model. The grinning fiend has attached a thermite bomb to the planet Saturn - at dawn, it will make its way round to the cable holding up the meteorite and burn through it - flattening the Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder.

The was the first episode of a three-parter.

Impressed with the eye candy in this one - she has a nice comic touch with the overdone melodrama and her performance as a spoiled Southern Belle in the jewellery store was spot on. Terry Moore. She was pally with Marilyn Monroe and dated James Dean, although both had died by the time this Batman episode was made. And she was married to Howard Hughes at one point allegedly, although there seems to be a bit of doubt about that. Still with us at the age of 96.

[Slim]

2:38 The Joker's Hard Times

Batman manages to reach his Batarang. He throws it, and dislodges the thermite bomb that threatened to burn through the cable holding up the 8 ton meteorite. Conveniently, the thermite bomb (actually it looks a lot like a firework) lands on the platform so that he can use it to burn through the ropes binding his wrists.

The meteorite drops just seconds later after they've escaped from under it, although given that the thermite object didn't burn through the cable, it's not really clear why.

Meanwhile The Joker continues with his Zodiac crime spree. He steals a marble statue of a figure with the scales of justice (Libra). His villainous sidecandy steals a priceless item of jewellery called the Golden Scorpion, armed with a quick-drying cement spray to avoid being pursued (Scorpio, of course). He kidnaps a millionaire named Bowman (Sagittarius. The archer, of course). The Dynamic Duo arrive too late to save the hapless millionaire, but on the plus side, Venus, the villainess, realises the error of her ways again, and offers to help the two crime-fighters.

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She leads them to a record shop where the Dynamic Duo help themselves to a punch-up with Joker's gang and free Leo Crustash, the opera singer kidnapped in the first part.

And in a hilarious scene, he steals two priceless tropical fish - the last of their species, no less - being exhibited in a fountain at Gotham Park. He swoops in with a fishing net on the end of a cherry picker. His henchmen keep the fish at bay by throwing fish at them. And they kidnap the treacherous Venus.

The Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder give chase in the Batmobile, but when they catch up with the giggling ghoul and his twisted henchmen at their hideout- it's a trap! They get ensnared in a huge net.

There follows possibly the most monstrous cliffhanger we've seen so far, when the two crime-fighters and the reformed cutie are chained and left in some sort of indoor water feature, to be fed to a grotesque, carnivorous giant clam. By the time the credits roll, the monumental mollusc has already started to eat Robin - only his feet are visible, sticking out of the creature's mouth! If that's what clams have. Kudos to the prop designers. It's just delightfully, hilariously grotesque.

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Once again Terry Moore puts in a bravura performance as the villainess with a conscience. The scene in which she rather amorously comes over to the good side definitely owes something to her old pal Marilyn Monroe. I think she must be the highest quality eye candy we've seen so far, Catwoman episodes excepted of course.

We don't see The Penguin in this one, but I believe he's back in the third part.

[Slim]

2:39 The Penguin Declines

Batman frees himself from his chains and prises open the vile clam creature's jaws. Or whatever they are. He pulls Robin out of its mouth, and unchains Venus.

It's a bit of a cop out cliffhanger escape, Batman finding the "inner strength" to break his chains. But there's no doubt that it was a phenomenal cliffhanger.

So Venus is taken to Bruce Wayne's midtown apartment, while The Joker's gang spring The Penguin from prison again, in a laundry bag. The giggling ghoul wants to enlist his fellow arch-criminal's help in eliminating Batman once and for all.

Penguin goes off to visit Venus at Bruce Wayne's apartment (The Joker has tracked her there using a homing device), There's a revolting scene in which the feathered fink charms her with expensive perfume and champagne. He persuades her that he's going straight, and pleads with her to persuade Batman to take her to the Batcave, where she can surreptitiously remove his file (a punched card of course) from the Bat Computer.

Meanwhile The Joker turns Gotham City's entire water supply to strawbarry "jelly" by emptying a couple of test tubes into the reservoir. In American English, I think "jelly" is something like jam. Odd cove, Johnny American. The gloop comes out of every tap in the city. The face-painted fiend wants $10m to restore the water supply. It's his Aquarius crime.

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Fortunately, the Dynamic Duo are able to save the day. They rush to the reservoir in the Batcopter (I assume the footage we see is re-used from the feature film). Batman puts the portable Bat lab to good use (it's a sort of chemistry set in a red briefcase). He concocts a formula to transform the red gloop into water again, and launches it into the reservoir with the aid of an exploding Batarang.

So Venus pleads with the Caped Crusader to take her to the Batcave. He agrees to take her there under the influence of Bat gas, so she won't know where it is.

But shortly after they arrive there, somehow The Joker, The Penguin and no less than five of their goons emerge from the boot (or "trunk") of the Batmobile. The Penguin levels his deadly umbrella gun at the Dynamic Duo. He's going to off them so that the two dastardly wrongdoers can turn the Batcave into a giant criminal HQ!

There is, I'm afraid, a rather silly plot device to conclude the story, in which Batman supposedly intended to draw the two super-felons to his lair so that he could subject them to his Bat-spectograph criminal analyser, to record their bone structure, metabolism rate, retina patterns and other scientific data for his records.

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And he's made sure the umbrella gun doesn't work by placing a negative ion attractor in the boot, to deplete its power source.

Still - there's a splendid punch up in the Batcave, after which the two arch-felons are off to prison, under the influence of Bat gas, of course. They may have visited the Batcave, but they still don't know where it is.

Well - I think the main takeaway from the first three-parter is that Batman plots aren't really good enough to sustain them. At least on the evidence of this one, the two-parters work better. This one tried my patience a bit, despite the excellence of the eye candy and the participation of two of the main villains.

Anyway although he wasn't in the second part, The Penguin's presence here sees him take first place in the appearance league table, with six stories under his belt.

[Slim]

2:40 That Darn Catwoman

Robin addresses a graduating class at one of Gotham's high schools. He urges them to remember always to obey the law and support the local police. But shortly afterwards, a young woman with pink cat ears approaches him.

She is none other than Pussycat, Catwoman's new protégé.

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She scratches his neck with a sharp claw dosed with a drug called catophrenic designed to reverse his normal moral and ethical standards. It takes effect immediately, transforming him into an adolescent hoodlum! A minute later, he's physically assaulted Chief O'Hara.

Later, Catwoman and her gang - including Robin - turn up at Wayne Manor. Robin ties up Alfred and Harriet while the gang loot the safe. Catwoman helps herself to a saucer of milk. Brilliant.

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Batman is alarmed and troubled by this turn of events of course, especially when the feline feloness telephones him to let him know that she plans to commit a series of robberies - and if he, or the police interfere, she'll have the Boy Wonder killed instantly. The Caped Crusader replies that she is odious, abhhorent and insegrevious. I must admit that last one was a new one on me.

She robs an eccentric inventor of the cash under his mattress. And she steals a large sum of banknotes from a wealthy prince at his embassy. He's performing an annual ceremony in which he has himself weighed in a huge scale, before distributing his weight in banknotes to orphans. No expense spared, for the Batman set designers.

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Batman's waiting for her at the embassy - and there's a punch up, but this time he's taking blows from his own (usually) faithful sidekick! he nobly declines to punch back.

The arch criminaless and her gang get away, but the Dark Knight Detective follows them to her lair. Is it a trap? Well judging by the sign reading "Catwoman's in here" on the door, it might well be. Sure enough, Batman ends up rendered unconscious and strapped to a giant mousetrap. Unless he agrees to help the evil villainess, he'll be snapped into two pieces.

And he doesn't .. so .. Robin gleefully begins to saw through the rope restraining the huge trap's spring with a large knife.

Catwoman's lair is in "New Guernsey". Just another clue that Gotham City is a sort of alternative universe version of New York.

Pussycat is played by Lesley Gore, best known as the singer who had a hit with It's My Party in 1963. In the Batman universe she's a rock'n'roll singer gone bad, so she gets to sing a song for the gang in Catwoman's hideout, making this episode a musical of sorts. It feels superfluous of course, but hey - it's Lesley Gore.

I must say Burt Ward does the unpleasant adolescent criminal thing to a T. Very good. But as always, it's Julie Newmar who steals the show. I'm sure she ad-libs some of the little comic flourishes. You couldn't script them.

[Slim]

2:41 Scat! Darn Catwoman

With Robin's knife having made it nearly all the way through the rope restraining the huge Bat Trap spring, Batman agrees to become her partner in crime. Not to spare himself - but to prevent Robin becoming a murderer.

Catwoman insists that he undergoes a dose of her wicked catophrenic potion to erode his morality and warp his sense of ethics, but - suspiciously - he asks if he can take a Bat pill for his headache first, leaving the viewer in no doubt that he's taken some sort of preventative antidote drug. Nonetheless the Caped Crusader acts the part convincingly well, becoming slightly lecherous, wilfully participating in her criminal schemes and addressing her as "Cat baby".

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They go off to commit crimes in the Batmobile, which doesn't escape the attention of Gotham City's police department. Commissioner Gordon sends out an APB to have them both arrested. Dead or alive, he says.

Next, Batman and Catwoman visit an old criminal's home, to acquire some secret plans for Gotham City's mint from a retired gangster, in exchange for the $1m that the catty criminal has robbed from various sources.

Gotham City Police department receive an anonymous tip (surely from the Caped Crusader) as to the whereabouts of the Cat Lair. They turn up there and arrest Robin and Pussycat. Shame, because the Boy Wonder was doing his best to cop off with her. But she never kisses on the first crime.

So, with the Cat Lair now known to the police, Catwoman insists that Batman takes her to the Batcave. And he does! But he gives her a blast of Bat gas first so she won't know where it is. When she awakes there, he tells her she fainted. They leave again shortly afterwards, but not before the Caped Crusader has left instructions for Alfred to take some Bat antidote pills to Robin, presently in police custody. He gives Catwoman another blast of Bat gas, though we don't find out what his excuse for rendering his new boss unconscious again is. Presumably he tells her she fainted again.

Anyway at 5AM the next morning, Catwoman and the gang, including Batman of course, break into the mint via the secret, concealed entrance revealed in the $1 million plans. But when she blows the vault with special silent explosive, who should jump out but the Boy Wonder - no longer under feline felon's influence.

Batman was never under the influence of the drug either, of course. There's a punch up. The henchmen lose but the arch-criminaless escapes in the Batmobile!

The Dynamic Duo give chase in a squad car borrowed from Gotham's finest. How can they hope to catch up with the atomic turbine-powered Batmobile? Well Batman has a remote control of course (and we saw this in one of the Penguin stories in the first series, I think. Although it was a bit more convoluted that time, involving a relay to the Batcave as I recall).

The Batmobile comes to a graceful halt outside a building overlooking the West River. There's some nice location shooting here, presumably on some rooftop in Los Angeles. She climbs to the roof of the building. He gives chase. Finally, he has her cornered on the edge of the roof. There's nowhere to go but a 100+ foot drop to the water!

He pleads with her to give herself up. He'll do anything he can to rehabilitate her. Anything? "Marry me", she says. "Everything except that", he says. And, having watched 75 of these this year, I can say that this is the only scene from any of them that I definitely remember watching as a child, or a teenager. Or both. I wondered if we'd see it on the TV series or the movie.

She falls backwards into the water. The Caped Crusader pulls out a Batkerchief, and has a bit of a cry. But has she merely used up one of her nine lives?

Pretty good two-parter. There's a musical interlude from Pussycat in the second part as well. Could have done without those, but I must admit Lesley Gore does a decent job portraying a young criminaless.

[Slim]

2:42 Penguin is a Girl's Best Friend

The Penguin is out of prison again, somehow. He's conducting an armed robbery in the streets of Gotham City, when he's interrupted by the Dynamic Duo who overcome his gang in the usual manner, ie by punching them repeatedly in the face.

But what's this - a film crew is present! He was filming a movie! It's all legal. The Dynamic Duo will end up in prison for aggravated assault and malicious property damage - unless Batman agrees to appear in his movies. So he does.

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The feathered fink has an ambitious crime planned, but he needs investment. He approaches Marsha, Queen of Diamonds. He promises to make her a billionairess. And she agrees, on condition that she can appear in his movies as well, alongside Batman. She's going to get her bonkers aunt, who is of course a witch, to cook up one of her love potions and make lipstick out of it for one of their love scenes.

Anyway the pointyosed old crook is panning to film some scenes for a historical drama at Gotham's museum of antiquities. Some precious 15th century chainmail armour goes missing. So there's a punch up at the museum, with The Penguin's men dressed as Roman centurions for their parts in one of his films. Alas - the two noble crime-fighters are overcome when The Penguin aims one of the stage lights into their eyes. They get netted and attached to a giant catapult, about to be hurled through the sky across Gotham City. The vile criminal has even attached film cameras to their legs, to record their fate for posterity.

There's quite an entertaining subplot about one of the scenes being so risque that the Gotham Film Decency League - headed by Aunt Harriet, in a sort of 1960s Mary Whitehouse capacity - feel they need to intervene.

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Batman later claims that he knew the armed robbery was a trap all along, he just knew the feathered fraud was up to something and wanted to stay close to him. It's not particularly clear why The Penguin wants the Caped Crusader in his movies, unless the cliffhanger has something to do with it.

Very odd also that Batman appears in costume, in a historical drama set in Roman times.

Nice to see Martha again. Another double-villain story, though I must say I think Penguin is getting overused a bit. This is the first of a three-parter.

[Slim]

2:43 Penguin Sets A Trend

As Batman and Robin await their fate, about to be hurled several miles through the air to be splattered somewhere on the other side of Gotham City, the Caped Crusader asks the Boy Wonder what the cube root of pi is. He can't remember. But no matter, his mentor remembers it - and he mentally calculates the precise location in Gotham City where their trajectory, once expelled from the catapult, will take them.

He manages to reach the Batmobile remote control from his utility belt and somehow, with it behind his back, he manages to guide the Batmobile to the exact street location. He operates the Batmobiles rear safety net - it springs out of the boot, and the two brave crime-fighters land safely.

Absolutely remarkable when you consider that the Batmobile remote is a little box with about three buttons to operate.

Despite The Penguin having attempted to murder them, the two return cap in hand to his office, asking if they can still be in his movies. Obviously they want to find out what hes up to. At this point he still has the priceless chainmail armour, of course. At this point I just gave up on the plot being anything resembling sensible. But I rolled with it.

Well it turns out that what the feathered fraud is up to is an initiative to steal some secret plans from The Hexagon, which evidently is the Batman universe version of The Pentagon. He goes there and butters up some vain senior officers by telling them he wants them to appear in his films. Then his gang break into a top secret room, steal some secrets, and run out. They've taken the precaution of wearing the priceless chanmail armour, and when some of the guards stationed at The Hexagon bravely take them on, the bullets just bounce off them.

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Meanwhile, the Dynamic Duo have been kitted out in suits of armour - not the priceless ones - for their next part. It's a trap. They get stuck to a giant electro-magnet while Penguin and the gang are off robbing The Hexagon of its secrets. Batman manages to short circuit the power supply by chucking a bit of metal into a lamp socket. They race after The Penguin and his gang in the Batmobile, still wearing their suits of armour.

But the Penguin manages to overcome the two crime-fighters once they're out of the car by rolling oil barrels at them. Hard to avoid in a suit of armour. And they get taken away for scrap! We seem them being tipped into a crusher. How're they going to get out of that one?

More than any other episode I can remember so far, this one really leans into absurdist comedy.

One of the officers at The Hexagon was also a regular feature on The Phil Silvers Show as one of the officers at Fort Baxter, ten years earlier. Possibly a bit typecast.

We only see Marsha very briefly in this one, looking for elderly toads for a potion with her loony witch Aunt Hilda.

[Slim]

2:44 Penguin's Disastrous End

Batman and Robin avoid being crushed to death by using a bat air pump - presumably from Batman's utility belt - to create a pressurised space withn the scrap metal as it's crushed. They escape using cutting torches, presumably from the same source.

The Penguin and his gang hide their precious chainmail armour in Aunt Hilda's vault, in her cave. What she usually uses it for is unclear.

In any case it's not long before the Dynamic Duo turn up there - some of Hilda's lizards have escaped. They've been seen by members of the public to have emerged from a man hole. So the two crime-fighters descend into it and find themselves in Hilda's lair. They find the missing chainmail armour.

Meanwhile, Marsha and The Penguin break into the sub treasury building. Marsha demobilises the guards by the judicious use of one of Hilda's love potions, and by performing a dance of the seven veils. They're transfixed. I must say I liked this scene a lot.

But from the usual unlikely logic, Batman's deliberations lead him to catch up with Marsha, The Penguin and the rest of the crooked gang just after they've lifted a huge quantity of gold bullion. But they haven't escaped - they've locked themselves in the vault with it!
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The Dynamic Duo and police wait patiently for them for to emerge. But the crooks have taken food and tanks of compressed fresh air in there with them. They're in there for days! Exactly what they're doing in lieu of toilet facilities is not discussed.

Eventually, we find out what they were up to. The Penguin's men have built a tank out of the gold bullion, using the plans they've stolen from The Hexagon. The feathered fink and his associates, including Marsha of course, break through the side of the sub treasury building and out into the streets in their new solid gold tank. How can even Batman and Robin stop them?

Well - fortunately Robin's pretty handy with a Bat-zooka, that's how. The Dynamic Duo give chase in the Batmobile and a well-aimed shot brings the precious metal tank to a stop.
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It's Game Over for The Penguin and Marsha. Again. Although knowing how Gotham City's justice system works, you have to assume they'll both be out in a few weeks, even with multiple repeat attempted murder offences on their records.

Well - this was the second and final three-parter. If the producers felt that the stories hadn't quite been strong or coherent enough to sustain three episodes, they were definitely right. Nonetheless the third part of this one does elevate it a bit. I especially liked a scene in which O'Hara attempts to block the golden tank with a squad car. The car gets completely, literally flattened. Batman and Robin look absolutely horrified (first pic), until he's found to have escaped down a manhole. Somehow.

One thing irked me - I like Marsha but this whole story has very little to do with her diamonds gimmick.

Just googled it - the tank is a Stuart Light Tank. Used by both the British and Americans in WW2. I wonder where they got it from?