Batman (the TV series)

[Slim]

02:17 Hizzoner The Penguin

Of all the Batman episodes I've watched this year, and that's 51 of them now - I'd say that this one leans furthest into regular comedy.

The Penguin is back, and he's been seen to commit conspicuous acts of kindness and charity. He rescues an elderly blind man from a mugger. He's polite and co-operative to the police. And he donates $100,000 to the Gotham City Charity Fund.

What's the Fiendish Feathered one up to? Well he's running for mayor, and once his acts of benevolence and public-spiritedness get into the local press, he's running at 60% in the polls.

Of course he'll bleed the city dry if he wins, so the incumbent Mayor of Gotham City comes up with a plan. Who's so popular and well-respected that he couldn't possibly lose? Batman of course! The Caped Crusader reluctantly accepts, and agrees to run for Mayor against the pompous master criminal.

Unfortunately - it doesn't go as well as you might think. Batman runs a scupulously honest, rather humdrum campaign, focusing on local issues. Whereas The Penguin's campaign is lavishly funded, all glamour and glitz - public rallies with big promises, dancing girls, free champagne and a pop group (the actual Paul Revere and the Raiders). Oh yes, and a belly dancer.

At one point Robin expresses a concern that Batman's campaign posters are a bit small (The Penguin has huge, colourful poster campaign of course). His mentor replies that the voters are interested in issues, not window-dressing. He goes on to say "I'm convinced that the American electorate is too mature to be taken in by cheap Vaudeville trickery. After all if our national leaders were elected on the basis of tricky slogans, brass bands and pretty girls, our country would be in a terrible .. mess, wouldn't it?" .. and there's a priceless ironic look to the camera.

Highslide Image Viewer

The whole episode feels like satire, a 25 minute comedy sketch. The voters are easily taken in by the populist glamour of The Penguin's campaign, while Batman's dull meetings attract people in single figures. The polling experts who appear early on (Gallus, Rooper and Trendek) really look especially like caricatures. A bit of Googling that there were actual polling organisations called Roper and Trendex, as well as Gallup which of course everyone's heard of. There's a very funny moment when Batman declines to kiss a baby on the grounds that it's unsanitary for the baby. The parents are outraged.

But we revert to more usual Batman fare when Gotham's most celebrated crime-fighter is invited to speak at the Grand Order of Occidental Nighthawks, only to be ambushed there by the waddling fiend's goons (G.O.O.N y'see). Despite a spirited punch up that degenerates into a swordfight with umbrellas, the Dynamic Duo end up tied up and suspended in a basket of a giant scale, above a large tank of sulphuric acid. Balancing them out on the other side of the scale are large chunks of ice. But they're melting.

Very intriguing. This episode was first broadcast in November 1966. Midterm elections were held that month. This episode would have been written quite some time before that, of course.

[Slim]

02:18 Dizzoner The Penguin

Batman covers his face with his cowl, then jumps over the side of the basket, into the bath of sulphuric acid. A noble act of self-sacrifice to save his old chum? No. His costume is made from acid-proof material, so he emerges from the tank unscathed. He dissolves his bonds in the acid and frees Robin.

Knowing that he has no proof of The Penguin's murder attempt, he puts the matter aside and later, takes part in a TV debate with the felonious fowl. But it's interrupted by news that Gotham's convention hall is being robbed of a $2m jewellery display. Both candidates rush to the scene of the crime.

Highslide Image Viewer

There follows a brilliant, hilarious sequence in which Batman, Robin and Penguin all fight the would-be robbers - in reality Penguin's goons, of course - while a TV presenter commentates on the proceedings from an upper floor with a view of the hall, in the manner of a sports anchorman. He keeps score on a blackboard. Batman, heavily outnumbered, only manages to deck one of the villains, while The Penguin gets seven!

There's even a reporter on the convention floor who attempts to interview the two candidates, Alan Whicker style, during the punch-up. It's pure absurdist comedy.

Highslide Image Viewer

Naturally, the waddling trickster soars in the polls. But when the results come in on election night, despite early gains, he doesn't do so well. He loses the mayoral election, to the Caped Candidate.

Highslide Image Viewer

Pengy's solution to this is to kidnap the board of electors, so that the votes can't legally be counted. Unless the City Council proclaims him mayor, they'll end up in the morgue. But the Dynamic Duo work out where he's hiding, there's a punch up and that's the end of The Penguin's political career.

Highslide Image Viewer

I must say the concluding punch-up has a lovely feature in this one. The Penguin has acquired a huge campaign material packaging machine. It has rotating penguins and flashing lights. The villains get punched or thrown into it, and emerge from the other end tightly wrapped in cardboard boxes.

The Penguin's appearance in this very different two-parter puts him in equal first place - so far - in terms of villain appearances, with The Riddler. The league table now stands as:

Highslide Image Viewer

[Slim]

02:19 Green Ice

Mr Freeze is back. He's escaped from prison. He has Miss Iceland kidnapped from the dressing room at Gotham's Miss Galaxy contest. Then he appears at an air vent in Commissioner Gordon's office. He blasts them, and their surroundings with his icy freeze blaster weapon. Gordon manages to call Batman, who comes to rescue them from an icy death by blowing open the frozen-solid doors to the office with plastic explosive.

Interesting that isn't described as "Bat explosive", just "plastic explosive".

When Gotham's press later come to ask questions in Gordon's office, Freeze has a large sum of money delivered there, addressed to Batman - to give the impression that they're being bribed.

Highslide Image Viewer

Later that evening Freeze and his gang hold up Bruce and his guests at a Wayne Foundation poolside reception, robbing them of their valuables. Batman and Robin appear in no time - but they blunder around, tripping over themselves and missing punches. After the bad guys get away with the loot, they leave quickly with their tail between their legs instead of helping the guests, who are trapped in the pool - the icy interloper made them stand in it before freezing it solid. How come? Well they're impostors - two of Freeze's men. He's trying to discredit the Dynamic Duo.

The real Batman and Robin track down Kool and the Gang (like what I did there?) to his hideout at a disused cold storage plant, where he's keeping poor Miss Iceland prisoner. He's slowly reducing her body temperature to acclimatise her to extreme cold. But the two crime-fighters are ambushed at the Frosty Freezies factory next door and placed in giant freezing vats.

Highslide Image Viewer

Freeze is played by Otto Preminger this time, and he's quite a bit more unpleasant than George Sanders' version from the first series. He has a more grotesque appearance. He wears the special refrigerating suit all the time, not just when he's out and about. But rather than a helmet it has special refrigerating jets built into the collar, aimed at his head. His kidnapping of Miss Iceland, apparently for his own amorous purposes, is an especially creepy touch. She's played by Dee Hartford, who was 39 years old when this was filmed. Her sister was married to Groucho Marx.

Interesting that this time the eye candy is a victim rather than an accomplice.

[Slim]

02:20 Deep Freeze

I must say the get-out from the cliffhanger that opens this episode is probably the worst one we've seen so far. As they slowly freeze to death, the two crime-fighters search for a "heat exhaust valve" at the base of the vats they're trapped in, with their feet. If they can just "recycle the exhaust in the heating unit" of the containers, they might "reverse the process of refrigeration", Batman tells Robin.

We don't actually see this. Very poor.

Anyway, apart from forcing the enslaved Miss Iceland to marry him, Freeze is planning to extort $1 billion from Gotham City. And if the city doesn't pay up, he'll freeze the whole city in a giant cake of ice! He transforms the city's reservoir into a solid block of ice to demonstrate his ability to do this.

Batman and Robin are lying low, partly due to the success of the cold criminal's efforts to discredit them, but partly because the Caped Crusader feels that a false sense of security - Freeze thinks they're dead, of course - might encourage him to overplay his hand.

Highslide Image Viewer

Anyway eventually of course the two turn up at Freeze's hideout, where by now the cold-hearted criminal has encased poor Miss Iceland in a block of ice! There's a punch-up. But the Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder get trapped in Miss Iceland's cell. It looks like they're finished, when Freeze turns his freeze blaster weapon on them. But they've taken the precaution of applying special Bat-anti-freeze to themselves. They blast the cell door open with explosives, the punch-up resumes, they break Miss Iceland free from the ice and it's Game Over for the icy-hearted enemy of the people.

Otto Preminger is best remembered as a film director rather than an actor and unfortunately he seems to have been a bit unpleasant. Adam West remembered him as being rude in his memoirs. Laurence Olivier, who appeared in one of his films, found him to be a "bully". I'd guess that he was a bit awkward to direct.

[Slim]

02:21 The Impractical Joker

A number of key-related crimes take place in Gotham City. A book called Keys of the Kingdom is ripped up in a book shop. A vinyl record called You're the Key to My Heart is smashed at a record shop. A folder is taken from the filing cabinet at an establishment called the Key Club, and burned. Finally, some signage at Gotham's Keystone Building is tampered with.

In what seems to me to be an inexplicable leap of logic, Commissioner Gordon decides that only The Joker can be responsible. But of course, he's not wrong.

Batman surmises that a Scottish gentleman with a collection of valuable keys must be The Joker's intended target. He's in Gotham to give a private exhibition of his collection of keys, one of which is the Jewelled Key of Kaincardine, a priceless item handed down between generations of Scottish rulers.

Highslide Image Viewer

So the Dynamic Duo head over to Gotham Towers, where the exhibition is taking place. Sure enough, The Joker is there - but they're helpless to prevent him making off with the priceless item. To their great embarrassment, he switches on a little box with flashing lights that renders them insensible while he gets away.

Later, Batman realises that the little electronic box was just a prop, and that the malevolent mischief-maker must have hypnotised them. But the giggling fiend takes over the airwaves briefly with his own TV transmission (another idea that's frequently reused, of course) to send Batman a clue.

The clue leads Gotham City's masked crime-fighters to a fur shop, where they find The Joker and his gang. The Comical Criminal attempts his hypnotism trick again, but to no avail - his intended victims have taken counter-hypnosis Bat pills. Of course there's a punch-up, but the malfeasant master criminal gets away. No worries - the Bat Computer comes up with another lead. The Dynamic Duo follow it to an apartment somewhere, but (of course) it's a trap. Batman ends up restrained in a huge, human-sized key-cutting machine. Robin is thrown into a wax-spraying booth, the usual purpose of which is not clear.

Highslide Image Viewer

This two-parter's villainous sidecandy is fit, fair-haired, shallow, self-interested and vain, which come to think of it is a pretty accurate description of my younger stepdaughter. Clearly Burt Ward liked her though, because despite being married to someone else at the time this was filmed, he married her the following year.

[Slim]

02:22 The Joker's Provokers

Batman escapes from the key-cutting machine by managing to pull a spare house key out of his utility belt, and jamming the machinery with it. It springs open (but why would it?) and he's out. He has a brief punch-up with the four villainous henchmen (The Joker has left the building), then he frees Robin from the wax-spraying chamber. He's waxed solid, but fortunately some Bat wax solvent does the trick.

So it turns out that the malfeasant mirth-merchant has somehow constructed a little gadget that, in conjunction with some sort of mind-altering chemical that he intends to introduce to Gotham's water supply, is capable of manipulating time. He can make people, speed up, go backwards or freeze in time.

Well it turn's out that Alfred's cousin Egbert works at the waterworks as a security guard, and as you'd probably expect, he looks exactly like Alfred. Except that he doesn't wear glasses. He talks with an unusual earthy accent that's somehow a cross between a gruff cockney and New York.

Highslide Image Viewer

So in the expectation that The Joker and his malevolent minions will turn up there, Alfred stands in for his cousing at the waterworks. They do turn up, he pulls a gun on them, makes them drink some water contaminated with the mind-bending, time-manipulating-susceptibility drug. Then he time-freezes them. Unfortunately he fiddles with the gadget and inadvertently un-time-freezes them, but the Dynamic Duo turn up, the usual punch-up ensues and apart from a entertaining little piece in which Aunt Harriet turns up at the waterworks having run out of petrol then recognises Alfred, who claims of course to be his cousin Egbert, that's yer lot.

I'd have to say that this is a poor one. It's based on a weak idea, it goes nowhere. There's absolutely no sense of jeopardy or suspense over the time-bending gadget or The Joker's plan to control Gotham's time, unlike for example The Minstrel's plan to cause chaos on the stock market, or Freeze's threat to freeze the whole of the city. The Joker's crimes aren't particularly interesting. It seemed to me that the time gadget idea was made up half-way through, shovelled in as an afterthought. it has nothing to do with the story's "key" theme.

The one redeeming feature is that dear old Alan Napier gets a decent chunk of script, and gets to play an additional character. He's very entertaining.

There's a slight mishap in a Batcave scene in which Robin puts one of his gloves on the wrong hand briefly, but Burt Ward recovers quickly.

[Slim]

02:23 Marsha, Queen of Diamonds

Gotham's poilice are on high alert, because the infamous Queen of Diamonds - a renowned jewel thief - is back in town. And she's after the Pretzel Diamond, a huge and very valuable, er, diamond.

She pulls up in a Roller outside the store, or exhibition (it's not clear which) where the diamond is being held, with Chief O'Hara in tow. And O'Hara orders the staff to hand over the diamond to her, on pain of arrest!

It seems that she's able to bend men to her will by dosing them with a love potion, made by her Aunt Hilda in a basement. Hilda is clearly slightly bonkers. She's an ex chemistry professor, but she dresses like a witch, with a pointy hat and everything.

Alas, it's not long before Commissioner Gordon is under her spell. He turns up at her place (it's not exactly a "hideout", everyone seems to know where it is) demanding to know what she's done to O'Hara, he gets shot by her little remote-controlled cupid statuette that fires potion-tipped darts, and three seconds later he adores her. He'll do anything for her. He just wants to worship her. But he goes to join her collection of men in cages.

like the other men the despicable diamond-obsessive has ensnared.

Fearing for Gordon's safety, the Dynamic Duo turn up there. Predictably, Batman gets shot by her "disposition improver". There follows a highly entertaining half minute or so in which the Caped Crusader develops feelings for her and turns a little amorous, but by sheer force of will he's able to regain his composure and defeat it.

She summons her minions, but during the ensuing punch-up, she surreptitiously reloads the statuette and Robin gets the potion-tipped dart! Alas his willpower is not as strong as Batman's, and in no time he's in love with her. He even turns on Batman! The Caped Crusader gives up. He's in a helpless situation.

It turns out that the diamond-dizzy dame wants the Bat Diamond. It's the size of a fridge, and it powers the Bat computer. Conveniently, we see it early on in the episode when the two crime-fighters are doing a bit of maintenance in the Batcave.

If she doesn't get it, she'll never release the young man from her spell. The Boy Wonder will be hers to command forever, a helpless, devoted, besotted slave!

Highslide Image Viewer

With no other choice, Batman agrees to give her the huge diamond. But she wants more than that - she wants to go to the Batcave with him herself, to pick it up. The Caped Crusader explains that he's taken a vow never to take a stranger there. Marsha's solution to that is that they get married - then she won't be a stranger.

And, amusingly, that's the cliffhanger. Batman's dire predicament this time is that he's about to get married. The episode concludes just before he says "do", having already uttered a very reluctant "I".

Batman's assertion that he never takes strangers to the Batcave is problematic, given that he has twice taken female accomplices of The Riddler there in previous episodes. The first one was disguised as Robin, but the Caped Crusader did know that all along. She ended up dead sadly, but that certainly wasn't the plan.

The second Riddler sidecandy was rendered unconscious by Bat gas for the journeys there and back.

Marsha is Morticia from The Addams Family. She was 36 when this was made, though she does look older and she does have an appealing mature eye candy thing going on.

[David L]

Highslide Image Viewer

Those incredible, pointed, highly- structured undergarments favoured by ladies in that era must have given rise to some incredibly disappointing 'bedroom' situations, methinks 

[Slim]

02:24 Marsha's Scheme of Diamonds

Alfred turns up at Batman's wedding to Marsha, and insists that proceedings are halted. He claims to be a solicitor, and produces documentary evidence, from a registrar in Gloucestershire (which I thought was an odd geographical choice) that Batman is already married! And he brings along Aunt Harriet, posing as the Caped Crusader's wife (another odd choice given that she's in her 60s).

It's all fake of course. Alfred has had the documents printed on the Bat printer. Since they aren't supposed to know each other, the elderly Englishman introduces himself as Bruce Wayne's butler.

The Caped Crusader administers a general all-purpose Bat-antidote to Robin, who's been given a sleeping potion, and frees him from his cage. It just seems to open, despite having a chain round the door. It's not clear why they aren't being guarded. Alfred gives O'Hara and Gordon the antidote as well.

Marsha visits her loony old auntie in the basement and insists she comes up with a stronger potion. She's intent on getting her hands on the Bat Diamond.

Meanwhile back at the Batcave, the Dynamic Duo try to work out where Marsha is. There follows some really terrible technobollocks. Marsha is always surrounded by diamonds. Therefore if they set the Bat radar at the emanating frequency of diamonds - they can calculate the reflection pattern of the diamonds, and make them appear on the Bat radar!

Highslide Image Viewer

I mean I know this is not a TV show to be taken seriously but - please. The worst thing about this is that it's totally unnecessary to the plot, because Commissioner Gordon phones the Caped Crusader to tell him he knows where she is. And actually her location is the same building where they found her first time. Just in the basement. Which just makes it seem even more silly.

Anyway the Dynamic Duo go there. There's a punch-up which, as seems to happen very often, turns into a swordfight. Marsha's henchmen are all Arabic gentlemen in traditional dress with those curvy swords. The loony auntie tries throwing potions, to turn the two crime-fighters into mice, or lizards. They don't work. Finally Marsha throws a knockout gas bomb. Auntie throws a potion over them to turn them into toads.

And it seems to work, because the next thing you know, Marsha's in Commissioner Gordon's office with two caged, caped toads. They speak! They're Batman and Robin! They urge Commissioner Gordon to assist the diabolical diamond-lover on the Bat Diamond, or she'll feed them to her cat!

It's not at all clear why Gordon doesn't just have her arrested on the spot, and remove the cage from her so that she can't harm the two unfortunate toad-transformed troubleshooters. In any case that proves to be unnecessary, because suddenly Batman and Robin turn up in human form! It transpires that Marsha's sidekick / servant was performing an act of brilliant ventriloquism to give the toads their voices.

How did Batman and Robin escape her lair? Yet more abject technobollocks, I'm afraid. Thanks to the extraordinary transmitting powers of the Bat Diamond, the two managed to perform some long-distance computations in the Batcave, by wiring the bars of their cell to convert them to a radio aerial - thereby enabling them to use the Bat computer to calculate the 3,724,521 possible combinations of the tumbler lock on their cell door.

We get a good look at the Bat Diamond at one point in the episode, it looks a bit like a Star Trek prop (see pic). Really the idea of a huge diamond powering a computer is ridiculous, but I expect we won't see it again.

Despite the silliness I didn't think this was a bad one. I liked Marsha. And there's a very funny scene when O'Hara and Gordon discuss how they'll explain their absences, while under Marshas's spell, to their wives. I did like the talking toads, as well.

[Slim]

02:25 Come Back, Shame

A series of car thefts take place in Gotham City. In one particularly audacious theft, a highly expensive racing car is stolen from the Gotham City 100, a highly prestigious oval circuit event. It seems remarkable to me that the perpetrator gets away with this. He just holds up the driver at gunpoint, then he and his gang make off with it. Presumably they just drive it out of the circuit, unhindered.

Anyway the villain this time is Shame, a western desperado played by Cliff Robertson. The odd thing about his crimes is that he steals only one high-spec part from each of the cars that he thieves, leaving the rest abandoned.

Batman and Robin hypothesise that he's building a high performance engine - perhaps to enter a car for the Gotham City Grand Prix the following month, and win a $100,000 prize. They conclude that a camshaft and valve lifters will be next on his shopping list.
So - Bruce Wayne has an announcement made on a radio station that's popular with racing fans. He lets it be known that his car has had a special imported camshaft and high performance valve lifters fitted, and that he'll be showing his car at an auto show the following week.

Highslide Image Viewer

So Bruce and Dick get car-jacked. It transpires that Shame really wants the parts so he can build an engine for a truck capable of doing 300mph - so he'll be able to outrun the Batmobile. He's building it at his hideout, an abandoned Western film set at an old movie studio.

But Bruce, or Batman, has cleverly had the car tyres coated with "infra red bat dust" - so that it can be tracked through the Batmobiles special tinted windshield.

The Dynamic Duo turn up at the Cowboy Criminal's hideout. "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley", he tells the assembled villains, in a remark that seems oddly incongruous with this particular story's theme - although I suppose it was written in the era of the Wild West, strictly speaking.

Anyway there is of course a punch up. But the two crime-fighters are overcome when the villainess shoots through the rope holding up a large wooden candle-equipped chandelier over their heads. I think she's based on Annie Oakley.

Highslide Image Viewer

Is Shame going to shoot them in cold blood? Well "it wouldn't be sportin'", he says. So instead they get staked to the ground, and he starts a cattle stampede by shooting his pistol into the air.

Exactly where hundreds of cows come from in the vicinity of an abandoned movie set is anyone's guess. It's really best not to dwell on the details, isn't it?

Cliff Robertson is clearly a class act and he does the outlaw cowboy thing to a T, but Shame doesn't really seem like a Batman villain sort of character .. still he does make a change from the usual manic loony in DC comic style villain outfit. A bit like Ma Parker did.

I did enjoy the punch-up in this one. Classic Western style bar room brawl, with bodies sliding along the bar and people getting hit with bottles. I must say, for a little fella, Robin sure packs a meaty punch. At one point he sends someone about twice his weight flying about six feet with a right hook.

[Slim]

02:26 It's How You Play the Game

Fortunately, the rumble of approaching hooves loosens the stakes that Batman's wrists are tied to, so he's able to unplug them from the ground, then use his cape to divert the onrush of cattle, matador-style.

Once free, he and Robin visit a gentleman called Laughing Leo who sells used cars. They've had a tip that he might know what Shame wants with a super-fast truck.

He's not much help, but then he's secretly working with Shame.

Specks of avocado and chile are found on Bruce Wayne's stolen limo once its recovered, and these lead the Dynamic Duo to a motel on the inbound state highway. Sure enough it's the gang's hideout, but they've already gone.

So Batman has an idea. He reckons that the gang have relocated to the old Western set again. Robin objects to this, on the grounds that he and Batman already know about it. But Batman explains that that's exactly why Shame thinks it's the last place they'll look. They go there, but it's a trap! "I knew he'd think I'd think he'd think I'd think he'd think I'd come back here", explains the six-gun totin' villain. The gang are waiting with their guns at the ready. Robin gets shot in the heel! And yet when they have the advantage, the gang "vamoose".

Back at the Batcave, once Robin has been restored to fighting form with some fast-acting Baticillin lozenges, the Caped Crusader remembers that some prize cows (or is it bulls? cattle anyway) worth $300,000 each are due to be shown at the Gotham City Rodeo. Clearly, this must be the Conniving Cowboy of Crime's target. They rush there, but the villains have already made off with their priceless bovine haul in the super-fast truck.

Highslide Image Viewer

The Boy Wonder comes up with a theory (the logic employed is hysterical, very funny) that the gang and their priceless stolen cattle are at the KO Corral. There follows a very funny parody of the High Noon type shootout scenes from old Westerns, complete with the suspenseful close up of the town clock and the long shot between the villain's legs.

Batman manages to prevent being shot at by the gang by deploying a Bat smoke bomb. He and Robin count the bullets. Then when their foes have run out, the inevitable punch-up occurs, and the villains end up being taken into custody.

One annoying thing about this episode - a kid called "Andy" keeps turning up in pointless little cameos. Also Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes does a bat climb window cameo, in character. Which I thought was a stretch given that the series are set more than 20 years apart.

I wasn't too impressed initially with this one but I was won over in the second part. I really liked the Western movie parody element.

So far we've had a different villain for each of the 13 two-parters in the second series so far. But I do believe The Penguin is back next time.

[Slim]

02:27 The Penguin's Nest

The Penguin is out of prison. Quite why he'd have been released in the 20th century considering the severity of his previous crimes is anyone's guess, but anyway he's mastered the are of haute cuisine in the kitchens of Gotham City Penitentiary and he's opened a high class restaurant called The Penguin's Nest.

And yet it's clear that the Feathered Fink wants to go back to prison. He steals a diamond bracelet, under Chief O'Hara's nose. He assaults Commissioner Gordon with a pie. He even stages a mock execution of one of his gang when he knows that Batman and Robin have him under surveillance.

He seems to get his wish, when Batman puts the Bat cuffs on him - only to find himself at the city jail for petty crooks instead of the penitentiary - for discharging an umbrella gun at a licensed restaurant, which is a breach of Gotham City's sanitary code.

Batman finds out that Ballpoint Baxter, a notorious forger, has the cell at the penitentiary next to The Penguin's usual cell. He surmises that the wily old bird's plan is to use the hand-written orders from the wealthy guests at his restaurant to have Baxter forge blank cheques. How could he possibly get his hand on blank cheque forms? Well the inmates can just order them from the prison print shop. The idea is to teach them to handle their personal finances responsibly. I love the running joke about Warden Crichton's excessively liberal rehabilitation methods.

Highslide Image Viewer

At this point it seemed to me that the obvious solution would be to humour The Penguin's desire to go back to the pen, but put him in a different cell and keep the two apart. But that wouldn't make for much of a two-parter, so ..

The avian antagonist's gang turn up at the jail to free him. The Dynamic Duo arrive there at the same time. There's a punch-up naturally. But O'Hara blunders in, the villainous cutie gets the drop on him with her revolver and The Penguin and his villainous cohorts leave with him as their hostage.

Later, The Penguin calls Commissioner Gordon, with the Caped Crusader and Boy Wonder present, and asks the two to meet him at the old abandoned navy recreation centre, where there's a swimming pool. He promises the two crime-fighters a fair fight, but of course it's a trap!

Highslide Image Viewer

In what must be one of the very silliest cliffhangers to date, O'Hara is trapped inside a metal trunk at the top of the swimming pool's slide. The villains are going to open fire on the Batmobile with a heavy machine gun (painted purple and white for reasons unknown) then electrify the pool and push O'Hara, in the trunk, down the slide!

I mean if they're planning to murder the Dynamic Duo as soon as they turn up, why the theatrical finale for O'Hara?

Anyway, a decent one I thought. The Penguin's appearance in this story propels him to the top of the villain appearances league table. This is the fifth Penguin two-parter.

Lurch from The Addams Family has a Bat climb window cameo. Might have been nice to have it in the one with Carolyn Jones (Morticia) as Marsha.

[Slim]

02:28 The Bird's Last Jest

The Dynamic Duo arrive at the abandoned navy recreation centre, only to be met by a hail of heavy machine gun fire. Holy Guadalcanal! As Robin points out. But the two advance under the cover of the Bat Shield. Penguins henchmen push O'Hara in the metal trunk into the pool. But Batman uses a Bat inverter to reverse the polarity of the electric cables running into the pool - thereby turning it into a giant anti-magnet - and the water propels the metal trunk out, and onto the side of the pool. Done by running film backwards of course, but very funny. I must say for a supposedly "abandoned" place, the old navy recreation centre is remarkably well maintained.

The Penguin and his dastardly gang are taken into custody, and there's a trial scene. Kidnapping and attempted murder are the two most serious charges. But the waddling, pompous wrongdoer points out that his lawful rights were violated when he wasn't sent to the penitentiary. The judge accepts his view that since he was deprived of his rights - it's not Batman's place to decide who goes to the pen and who doesn't - he had no other recourse but to take matters into his own hands.

Highslide Image Viewer

Batman comes up with a clever scheme - he applies false fingerprints to Alfred and has him masquerade at The Penguin's restaurant as Quillpen Quirch, a British master forger of high renown. The feathered felon checks the fingerprints from a glass - remarkably, he keeps fingerprint records in the restaurant's kitchen - and Batman's ruse nearly succeeds - until the waddling master criminal recognises him as Bruce Wayne's butler.

Remembering that Wayne is a prominent bank director, the Pengster reasons that the millionaire is trying to foil his cheque forgery initiative. He has Alfred encased in a huge pie crust, then takes it to Wayne Manor. He threatens to light a burner under the pie and cook the hapless butler unless Bruce compensates him to the tune of $1,000,000. Bruce and Dick make excuses to leave the room and get the cash, then a minute later, Batman and Robin appear.

Highslide Image Viewer

There's a punch-up of course. The eye candy nearly gets the upper hand by holding Harriet and gunpoint, but Alfred emerges from the pie and disarms her, while Harriet knocks a vase over her head.

It's bang to rights. The gang are off to the penitentiary. But wait, that's exactly what they want isn't it? Well it would be, but Bruce Wayne has arranged parole for Ballpoint Baxter. He's going to teach penmanship to underprivileged children for the Wayne Foundation. Ballpoint looks a bit like Joe Bonamasa.

Odd that the defeated villains are always taken to Commissioner Gordon's office before being carted off to the pen. I had the odd thought from Robin's "Holy Guadalcanal" remark that World War 2 ended only 21 years before this was filmed. Adam West would have been a teenager during the Guadalcanal campaign.

[Slim]

It's bang to rights. The gang are off to the penitentiary. But wait, that's exactly what they want isn't it? Well it would be, but Bruce Wayne has arranged parole for Ballpoint Baxter. He's going to teach penmanship to underprivileged children for the Wayne Foundation. Ballpoint looks a bit like Joe Bonamasa.

I've just read that Ballpoint, pictured above, was played by Stanley Ralph Ross - who wrote 27 Batman episodes. Although not this one, ironically.

Although his appearance here was a brief non-speaking part he was a prolific voiceover actor. He wrote Man from U.N.C.L.E and Monkees episodes as well.

[Slim]

02:29 The Cat's Meow

Catwoman is out of prison again and she's formed a group, Catwoman and the Kittens. She's due to appear at the Police Benevolent Society Ball, on the same bill as English singing sensations Chad and Jeremy.

But of course the felonious feline has no intention of going straight. She has an electronic device that makes people lose their voice completely. She uses it on a radio presenter. It even works down the phone, as Commissioner Gordon unfortunately finds out - but not before she's charmed him into telling him where Chad and Jeremy are staying. Wayne Manor.

Highslide Image Viewer

She turns up there to check the place out in the guise of a dance instructor named Miss Klutz, to give Dick some dancing lessons. But her cover is blown when she sneezes. Her hair comes down, the glasses come off, and Dick recognises her immediately. She throws a knockout gas pellet and makes a run for it.

So the Dynamic Duo track her down to the dance studios that are her cover. There's a punch-up, but she manages to subdue the two crime-fighters by scratching them with her super-sharp kitty fingernails, laced with a sleeping drug.

Highslide Image Viewer

They awake in an enormous acoustic torture chamber, designed to amplify the sound of water tapping onto a drum above their heads ten million times! Their brains will be turned to mush!

Catwoman's assistant Eenie is played by Sharyn Wynters who although she must be about 80 years old, still looks pretty good (pic below taken this year). Unfortunately she seems to be a MAGA fruit loop and a "naturopath". She also dabbles as a jazz singer and having had a listen on YouTube I have to admit that although she's not brilliant, she's not bad.

Highslide Image Viewer